Up All Night
by CaptainBrieOnToast
Summary: Owl City Inspired. Dean doesn't arrive to school one day. Like dominoes the day he is gone becomes Castiel's most pathetic and saddest day ever. ("You were my clarity I swear, all alone in a daydream.")


_You were my clarity, I swear_

 _All alone in a daydream_

 _Yeah there was magic in the air_

 _And you were right here beside me_

 _Held down like an angel with no wings_

 _I wanna fly again_

 _I just can't get you off my mind_

 _And now I'm gonna be up all night_

 _It's tearing me up inside_

 _I just can't get you off my mind_

 _I tossed and turned in the end_

 _With no one to talk to_

 _I searched again and again_

 _But I never found you_

When Castiel arrived at school at 8:30 in the morning he instantly realized something was wrong. As he walked to school, backpack over his shoulder and music blasting in his ears he noticed that no '67 Impala passed him on the road. Every single morning while Castiel walked to school a horn would honk and Castiel would see Dean Winchester driving past him.

He would smile and wave as he passed.

Then once he got to school he would see Dean leaning against that beautiful car, waiting for Castiel. Castiel, the quiet nerd who on the very first day of high school got partnered with Dean Winchester; the schools star quarter back, in Biology. From that point on they were best friends.

Castiel never really understood it, but Dean liked him. Even when Castiel was feeling down and refused to talk to Dean he would make him laugh.

Dean wasn't waiting for him in the parking lot. His car wasn't even in the parking lot. Castiel swallowed hard and readjusted his backpack. Surely Dean was just late for school.

Castiel nodded to himself and continued to Biology. He sat down at his desk and got out his work, eyes glued to the classroom door. He waited anxiously for Dean to walk through that door.

Dean didn't walk through that door.

Castiel would be lying if he said that he didn't spend the entire class period waiting for Dean to walk in. He missed the entire lesson. (It didn't really matter, Castiel knew everything there was to know about how the cell worked) He almost missed the bell ring for next period. Castiel got up with a sigh and walked to his next classroom. Surely Dean would show up for second period. It was already February and Dean hadn't missed a single day of school. Sure he had come in late a few times or left early but never without telling Castiel first.

By second period Castiel was coming up with excuses for Dean. They weren't great excuses. They all led to terrible things. His first thought was that maybe Dean had been on his way to school and had gotten into a car crash. Or his drunk father turned abusive and came home swinging fists killing Dean by accident. Maybe Dean was just injured and it was so bad on the way to school today he passed out and was whisked to the hospital.

Either way Dean wasdead or in the hospital and it didn't settle well with Castiel. He stared yearningly at the door hoping Dean would walk in.

He didn't.

Castiel must have looked the way he felt (like an angel that'd lost it's wings) because as soon as he'd set his lunch tray on the table he was under interrogation.

"What's wrong with Blue Eyes?" Meg drawled sweetly. Castiel sighed and closed his eyes, letting his head thunk to the table. He felt too empty inside to bother with putting on a mask for his friends.

"Nothing," he grumbled.

"He's been like this all day," Charlie confirmed, setting her lunch tray down as well. She sat next to Castiel with a grim look on her face.

"It's kind of cute on him but also annoying," Meg commented dryly.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just not feeling that great today."

"I'm," Benny drawled in disbelief. "Something ain't right with Castiel, that's for sure."

Castiel glanced up at Benny.

"So I used a contraction-" Before he could finish his sentence Benny had placed his hand on Castiel's forehead.

"He isn't sick," Benny announced. Castiel groaned and dropped his head back down.

"Is he being bullied?!" Charlie blurted. "Maybe he is being bullied and that's why he is so down."

"No one would bully Castiel if they valued their lives," Jo reasoned.

"Besides that funk is a different kind of funk," Benny stated.

"I don't have-"

"Speaking of Dean, where is he today?" Charlie asked interrupting Castiel. Jo shrugged.

"I don't know," she stated. "He didn't say anything about it yesterday."

"Ain't got a clue 'bout it, maybe Cas knows," Benny agreed. Castiel shrunk under the attention, wishing he were dead, or with Dean. Though being with Dean might be the same as dead if his theories were accurate.

"Wow, you guys are dumber than a bag of bolts," Meg stated. "Put the pieces together. Who isn't here today that is with Castiel constantly?"

Charlie gasped sharply.

"It's because of Dean! Castiel is sad because Dean isn't here!"

"Sad," Jo scoffed. She grabbed Castiel's arm and peered at him. "That's an understatement. He looks dead."

"It's kind of sweet," Benny stated. "He's so far gone for our little Adonis that he can't bear to be away from him for even a day."

Castiel sighed loudly.

"I am not in love with Dean," is what he wanted to say. Desperately wanted to say. Wished to God he had said. Instead what left his lips was the completely opposite.

"I am in love with Dean," he admitted with a defeated slump of his shoulders.

"Oh dear," Charlie murmured. She lifted up Castiel, her face littered with concern.

"He won't even deny it."

Castiel stared at her blankly, not replying. Charlie sucked in a breath and shook her head.

"We need something of Dean's… Stat."

Meg handed Charlie a scarf, prompting everyone to cast her confused looks. She shrugged.

"You don't wanna know."

Charlie took the scarf with a shrug and tied it to Castiel's wrist.

"Hold on to the memory Castiel. You can get through this."

Castiel looked down at the scarf and then back up at Charlie.

"This is an odd solution Charlene. It is unlikely that a scarf will solve anything," Castiel stated. Benny breathed out in relief.

"No contractions," he pointed out.

"That's scary accurate," Jo muttered. Castiel sat up and stared at his friends.

"You guys honestly believe that a scarf cured me of my funk?"

They all stared at him. He sighed, not needing an answer.

They did.

"I have a headache, I am going to head out," Castiel stated, standing up.

"You haven't touched your lunch," Charlie protested. Castiel looked down at it with a sigh. It didn't look appetizing in the least.

"I had a big breakfast."

"But you don't eat-"

Castiel missed the last part of the sentence. He left before he could hear the end of it. He knew his friends were just looking out for him, but this scarf thing- he glowered down at it- was implausible.

He leaned against a stall in the bathroom and picked at it thoughtlessly.

It did smell like Dean, and it was the exact scarf Dean wore to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Castiel smiled down at the scarf.

He didn't remove it from his wrist.

Third period included no Dean's. Neither did fourth period. Castiel never really realized how much he saw of Dean in one day before this day. His school day had never seemed so long. A constant longing for Dean filled him as he stared at each of his different classroom doors.

He wished he would just give up and give in, but in the end he couldn't.

Castiel stumbled drearily home from school. His feet kept hitting each other, trying their best to knock him down. Castiel would look down and focus on coordination if he wasn't so busy staring at the road. Hoping Dean would drive down it.

He never did.

When Castiel finally arrived at his house he ended up sitting on the front porch for two hours, staring at the road. He sat there for so long waiting for Dean that he unwillingly began to cry. He didn't quite understand it but tears were running out of his eyes like a waterfall.

For just a moment, Castiel could have sworn Dean was there approaching him to give him a hug. Castiel stood eagerly, the tears letting up for a little bit. That was when Castiel realized Dean had never been there in the first place.

Miserably Castiel retreated to his room. He refused to speak to his family. He refused to eat dinner. Instead he wandered into his room, fell on his bed, clutched Dean's scarf and stared up at the ceiling of his room.

The popcorn ceiling reminded Castiel of Dean's freckles. The green in the bonsai tree on Castiel's bedside table reminded him of Dean's eyes. The ACDC shirt strewn over a chair by Castiel's desk made him think of Dean's ridiculous taste in music. The Owl City poster on Castiel's wall that Dean relentlessly made fun of him for having reminded Castiel that he was helplessly chasing after rainbows he would never catch.

Castiel closed his eyes to try and rid himself of all the thoughts going through his brain. But Dean kept him awake. Dean kept Castiel from relaxing, from getting any sleep. Dean kept Castiel up all night.

"I just can't get you off my mind," Castiel told the empty room. Then with a loud groan and an aggravated pulling of his hair Castiel grumbled: "I'm going to be up all night."

The next morning was miserable.

He left for school early, he didn't bother with breakfast. Without Dean what was the point in food? He stumbled to school and collapsed in his seat.

He was tired, and he hurt all over. Nothing felt right. Castiel buried his head and allowed the tears he had been holding back since yesterday to fall freely from his eyes.

 _"Dude you look like you fell from the sky."_

Castiel's head shot up and he stared wide eyed at the person before him. He had only been missing Dean for a day but it felt like he hadn't seen Dean for an eternity.

"Dean?" He whispered, unable to believe that it was actually his Dean standing there. Dean raised an amused eyebrow.

"I miss school once and you've already-" Dean wasn't able to finish the sentence because Castiel knocked it out of him with a tight hug.

"I missed you so much," Castiel whispered into Dean's chest. It wasn't even a second before Dean was hugging Castiel back tightly.

"Hey man, you're alright."

Dean gently ran his fingers through Castiel's hair and then pushed him back.

"Are you alright?" Dean suddenly asked. Castiel stared up at him with a small smile.

"You were the one sick yesterday," he reminded Dean. Dean's face was clouded with concern.

"Yeah, but you actually look like you were in a wreck what happened?" Dean's hand caressed Castiel's cheek. "Did you sleep yesterday? Or eat? I heard you didn't eat lunch from our friends and that you didn't eat dinner from your brother. Everyone else told me you moped around school yesterday."

Castiel let out a soft sigh of relief.

It was like there was magic in the air when he was with Dean. He hadn't slept or eaten or done anything productive the day before but he still felt so alive when he was with Dean.

"Dean I am fine," he assured.

"Bull shit," Dean retorted. Castiel sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"I just missed you Dean. You are my clarity in day dream," Castiel explained. To that Dean snorted, but after he gave Castiel a double take his face settled into a serious expression.

"You're serious?"

Castiel stared back up at Castiel.

"I need you," he stated. Dean stared back at him and didn't reply for a long time. Then with a mutter that sounded suspiciously like: "I need you too, I guess" he sat down in his desk and pointed at a blank sheet of paper.

"So what did I miss?"

Castiel sat down as well and opened his notebook to a blank page that only had yesterday's date on it. Dean blanched visibly.

"Seriously?"

Castiel shrugged.

"Yesterday I was stuck without my clarity."

Dean poked Castiel's ribs.

"Yeah, well your clarity is here now."

Dean smiled and Castiel smiled back after a moment.

He slept spectacularly that night.

* * *

 **Author's Note**

This is based off of Owl City's Up All Night from his album Ultraviolent. It's a great song, if anyone wants to go listen to it.


End file.
